emconsteroids

A couple of funny pictures related to Christmas which might be useful for e-mail attachments:

I’ve bought myself a nice suit at Marks & Spencer around mid November 2008. It was quite a nice buy, however I soon after found a tiny hole in the fabric of one of the sleeves. The hole looked like a fabrication error. Luckily I hadn’t worn the suit yet, that’s why I decided to return it to Marks & Spencer.

I was quite surprised today, when I found out, that by returning the suit, Marks & Spencer would give me cash return as well. The reason for this seemingly strange cash return was however a temporary reduction of the UK VAT tax announced by Chancellor Alistair Darling on November 24th 2008.

The suit was exchanged with no questions asked. On top of it, I got another £2.80 in VAT tax back. That’s quite illogical, because technically I bought the suit in November, when the tax was 17.5%. I reckon however the Marks & Spencer book-keeping infrastructure would technically handle the exchange as a full return and a re-sell. Since the new suit is sold in December, I got it 2.5% cheaper. Therefore the money back.

There is a 90 days return policy on all the goods so if you’ve bought something within the last 90 days and before the 1st of December, it might be worth getting it exchanged. For a 2.5% return in cash could give you one of those nice M&S Cookies.

Please help! I took my husband’s i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account). When I approached him about this (I think that he is cheating on me) he admitted that he took the picture but says that he never sent it to anyone. He claims that he went to the Genius Bar at the local Apple store and they told him that it is an i-phone glitch: that photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? The future of my marriage depends on this answer!

Source: Can anyone help this woman out? | 9 to 5 Mac

Best Answer: “Its a glitch, but only happens if the pic is sufficiently raunchy.” Many more (funny) answers.

I found this advert pretty funny:

Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way (on Amazon)

The world is in a pretty terrible state.
Things are getting very bad, indeed.

Nobody on this earth is immune.
There is only one thing for it.

Say: “Fuck it!”

Take it easy. Relax. Let go.

That’s what we’ve been doing for thousands of years.

Even when things are pretty shitty.
We say: “Fuck it” and relax.

It’s our way.

A way to find peace whatever is happening in a crappy way.
A spiritual way.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

This and many more jokes under BBC.co.uk

If you’ve got a spare $165′000 on you and like funky gadgets, you probably like this “Bigger Bang All Black” by Hublot:

Some other notable wrist watches of which there are no particular price indications are the Urwerk Collection, which with built-in micro wind turbines:

Or the Tag Heuer Monaco V4 with the synchronous belt-drive system:

If Bill Gates is a gadget freak I wonder which wristwatch he’s wearing.

I like the way the DJ shushes the guys who are coming to save his life on 0:39

Via Failblog

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Here are some great recent pictures of the Burj Dubai Skyscraper which is still under development. Click on the images to enlarge:

However plans of the construction company Nakheel today revealed that there is going to be an even taller building in Dubai. The exact height has not been revealed but it is estimated to have more than 200 floors and being more than 1000 meters tall.

By the way: A nice site to compare tall buildings can be found under Diagrams:

Not many people know, but Fucking in Austria is a reality:

I wonder how many post officers have been offended by address labels, how many times the street labels got stolen or how many times Google returned the wrong search results.

Other funny places are Kissing in Germany,

Hacking in Austria,

Rottenegg in Austria

or, much less obscene but still funny, Mailing in Germany